So far...

I know I haven't written in awhile..I suppose it is because I have been so bloody emotional and being a good Scots woman..we loath showing emotions. Never underestimate your heritage is what I say!
It all started on a 2nd baseline workout for the 30 day challenge-'-it was Crossfit total. Shoulder Press, Back squat and deadlift--max effort!
During my shoulder press I had hit my wall..55 lbs and I couldn't get it up--all of a sudden I hear cheering and rooting..I realize it is the people in the gym all cheering for me to push that weight up--it felt like forever but I did it! tears filled my eyes and I was completely overwhelmed..I looked at my husband and he had tears in his eyes--(you think Scots are stoic..ha! German's take the cake) I was so emotional --I have never had that kind of experience in my life. My trainer came up to me and said "That was sheer willpower !"

On about day 5 of this challenge I woke up very emotional and it hasn't really left. I have used food my whole life to change how I feel. Food has been the one constant for me. I just didn't realize that Crossfit would heal me at such a deep level.
I read a book that changed my life about 12 years ago ..The Anatomy of the Spirit by Carolyn Myss--she talked about how we carry our biography in our bodies--I made many changes in my life after reading that book. I became a Reiki Master--I worked with healing energy. I have engaged in therapy ..workshops..seminars..and yes, they were very healing!
But..crossfit has reached in deeper..between the Paleo diet and 5 workouts it feels like the past is being pushed up through my tissue, muscles,,sinew ..purging from deep within...pain leaving my body for the first time in my life.
I focused on healing my mind, my spirit..my emotional life and have neglected my physical body..cut myself off from it as any good child of abuse would..now..I feel so free--it's very difficult to articulate. The healing I am feeling is so profound.
I am on day 8 of the challenge and I'm looking forward to releasing my past through my body. Trust me, this is not a cowards way to do it..I dig deep on a daily basis to continue. I want a different life..I want a healed life! I want to experience physical health and fitness for the first time in my 45 years.

I'm ready...bring it on!